...Advertising for the iPhone

Specifically, this advert where the scruffy white guy is chatting to the polished Asian chick.


Exhibit 1:

Now, I don't own an iPhone, and I don't intend to. I've got three beefs with them, the first being that I already own both an iPod and a mobile phone, thank you very much; secondly, since I own an iPod I know how temperamental the bastards can be, why push your luck by adding the ability to make calls? Lastly, and probably my main reason for not getting an iPhone 4: the touch screen. Not only do touch screen phones not seem to want to acknowledge that I am indeed a sentient being, making me question my own mortality every time I try and fail to send Gary Glitter jokes via text, but I'm also sadly endowed with incredibly chubby fingers, which means that when I try to update my Facebook status to something insipid like, 'Studying is booooring...' it comes out looking like a cross between Esperanto and a rural dialect of Klingon. Anyway, that's not what's important here; as usual, I just got incredibly sidetracked by moaning. Here are two (irrational) reasons as to why I think this advert was made, and why they are stupid. 


1) The ridiculous reason I made up out of boredom on my walk home past Carphone Warehouse: They want to appeal to nerds


Everyone knows that nerds like Anime and Japanese chicks. And everyone also knows that nerds love continuously updating their computer and mobile technology, right? So my first theory is this: Steve Jobs and his crew of alien slave workers, the ones that crashed into Roswell in the fifties (how else do you explain 40,000 songs in a 10cm by 6cm plastic brick?) sat around in their underground cave plotting their world domination, when suddenly, Steve got a wonderful idea. In order to further milk the nerd community for all they're worth, he decided to give them false hope that hot Asian girlfriends come with owning an iPhone. Specifically, the newer 4th gen model that can be used for video calling, possibly the most pointless addition to a mobile since they made that app on how to avoid brain cancer. (Protip: don't use your phone.) 


The only problem is, the nerds of this world are not a united species. They are separated into different tribes, torn apart by their distrust in each other's taste in comics books, along with differences of opinion regarding the outcome of a fight between a pirate and a ninja. Maybe an Anime nerd (aka Otaku, Weeaboo, 4chan user) who loves Japanese ladies would find this advert appealing, and maybe an Apple nerd (aka Mac Fag, Hipster, Rich kid with too much fucking money), who loves Steve Jobs endorsed technology, would also find this advert appealing, but only the rare 'Appime' nerd would be enthused by both aspects at once. I drew a handy diagram to help you out:


Exhibit 2: 

I think I have a bright future in creating computer graphics.

Basically, there are some - maybe quite a lot - of people who like both shiny new technology and girls who could pass for a member of AKB48. But you cannot entice all nerds with the promise of a hot Asian relationship. So don't insult their intelligence; they are smarter than us all.

After pulling apart the issue some more I decided to add more data to the sides of my diagram.

2) The much more likely reason: Political Correctness & International Appeal

Two nationalities! Two whole races represented in one advert! That will cut costs, surely? And appease those liberal lefties: y'know, the ones that hate capitalism yet love spending money on useless technological fads. I mean, just Photoshop some squiggles over the English writing and this advert becomes Asia friendly (oh, apart from the multi-racial relationship playing out). Yeah, I understand political correctness and the need to appear both international and interracial, but this doesn't look anything like the typical White Guy/Asian Girl courtship that one can witness in any Roppongi club on any night of the week.

iPhone ownership not pictured, but implied.

Having said that, maybe people really do care about the issue of Political Correctness?

Exhibit 3:

It's a pie chart therefore you cannot argue with its logic.

Anyway, I don't understand the point of trying to be PC if you're just going to half-arse it. I mean, why are other races not represented? Why are only 'safe' and cliche interracial couples chosen? What is my actual point?

I think what we can take from this is I really need to stop writing bullshit at 5.30 am.